Tips For Parents On Coping With Teenage Children Dating

By: Donald Saunders


Just about all parents have some worries about the day when their children will start dating and for a lot of parents it also marks the point at which their children are making a move from childhood to adulthood. It is also often seen as the point when children take their first steps to strike out on their own and this is usually taken as a sign that they do not need you any longer. Nothing could be further from the truth. Dating is simply a stage on the long path of normal teen development and they certainly do still need you - and will need you for many years to come. Nevertheless, this is sometimes a difficult point in a teenager's life and there is a lot which you can do to make life simpler for both of you.

As is the case with many other things, success in dating starts with education and it is critical for you to get together with your teenagers before they start dating to talk about what goes into making a good relationship. It is all too easy to presume that your teenagers already appreciate the ins and outs of dating but they almost certainly won't. After all, the greater part of their knowledge on dating will probably have been gleaned from the television where most of the relationships are not designed to reflect the real world but merely to entertain the audience. Your teenagers have to be taught just what it means to be in a loving and supportive relationship and the best way to learn just what that means is to talk with you about your own personal experience. Of course, it is also the case that your teenagers will learn not only from what they hear, but also from what they see and so setting them a good example in the way that you conduct your own relationship is very important.

Once your teenagers start dating you will need to enter into what is going to become an ongoing discussion about relationships. Your children's dates will not always go as they or your expect and they are going to need somebody to turn to when they have a problem. Therefore, it is vital that you keep the lines of communication open and continue the discussion about how they should be treating other people in a relationship as well as just how they themselves should expect to be treated.

Meeting your teenager's date for the very first time can often be a nerve wracking time, but it is important to try and make this initial meeting as comfortable as possible and to be both kind to and respectful towards your teenager's date. And don't fall into the classic trap of giving the couple a lecture on this first meeting laying down the rules for going out with each other. Any rules that you decide to impose are for your teenager and not for his or her date and need to be discussed with your child alone and in private. Also, while it is possible that you will take an immediate dislike to your teenager's date, you should not let your teenager or his date see this and should go out of your way to be supportive. Once you have taught your teenagers how to conduct themselves in a relationship you must trust them to take their own decisions and should only intervene if you believe that the relationship is putting your teenager in harm's way.

It can be difficult to see your kids growing up and meeting and getting close to new people. But, as long as you take the right steps and teach them what to expect from and how to conduct themselves in a relationship, then there is every probability that things will work out and that difficulties will be minimized for both you and your teenagers.


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